


If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

by art3mis_black



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awesome Darcy Lewis, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, Protective Bucky Barnes, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, WinterShock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-23 13:27:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30056154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/art3mis_black/pseuds/art3mis_black
Summary: When Darcy moved to Stark- Avengers-whoever's- Tower, she expected to deal with crazy, overprotective superheroes. What shewasn'texpecting was for one of those superheroes to be her soulmate.She shouldn't be all that surprised, Darcy realised. Her life became far from normal the second Norse Gods started falling from the sky. At least her soulmate was cute. Even if he was a little murder-y sometimes.Things could be worse, right?Right?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster/Thor
Comments: 49
Kudos: 274





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is or where this is going. I've only written 3 chapters so far so it isn't finished yet and I'm not sure when it will be finished- but I've been dying to post and see what you guys think. 
> 
> In terms of timeline, this story takes place somewhere after Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Basically, everyone lives at the tower as one big (sometimes) happy family. Even Bucky, who is decidedly less than happy. Also, Soulmates are a thing. Most people have a soul mark, which is just like a tattoo of the first words your soulmate ever says to you. 
> 
> Let me know if you have any other questions. I'm not sure how this story is going to end yet, but I'm a sucker for happy endings, so that should give you a hint. Also, the rating might change as the story goes on, but I'll post a warning at the beginning of the chapter should that happen!
> 
> I hope you enjoy,
> 
> Artemis
> 
> PS- The title isn't some dark foreshadowing. It came from one of my favourite poems by David Romano. I highly recommend you read it if you haven't already. Although I should warn you, it's a bit of a tear jerker.

Darcy took one last look around the lab that had become her home. 

All of Jane’s temperamental science equipment had been moved and was waiting for them at Stark- Avengers?- _whoever’s_ \- tower. The scraps of paper that usually littered every available bench space were gone. The spare pair of shoes Darcy kept under her makeshift desk (it was really just a stool and a corner piece of bench that Darcy had claimed as her own) were packed away. 

The only signs that Darcy and Jane had ever been in the small New Mexico lab was the stain on the carpet, near the entrance. It was the only patch of carpet in the entire lab, and Darcy had managed to spill bright red kool aid on it on her very first day.

She smiled at the vibrant stain. No amount of scrubbing or soaking or begging could remove it. Now it served as one final reminder of all the memories Darcy and Jane had made here.

“Ready to go?” her genius best friend asked, carrying the last of her bags under one arm.

“Sure am, Janey,” Darcy replied, coming over to bump shoulders with Jane.

“I’m gonna miss this place. The heat was a bit much, but it was nice while it lasted, right?”

“Yeah, it was nice. I gotta say, I am _so_ looking forward to free air conditioning though.”

“You and me both,” Jane huffed. She followed Darcy out the door and locked the lab behind them for the last time.

“I still can’t believe we’re now employees of Stark Industries. I’m finally getting paid!” Darcy squealed, skipping over to the drivers side of their van. Tony Stark himself offered to send them a car, but Darcy politely refused. The drive was long enough as it is. The last thing she wanted was to spend the trip in awkward silence in front of some stuffy nosed chauffeur.

“I’m really sorry I couldn’t give you any money earlier,” Jane frowned, climbing into the passenger seat.

“Nonsense, Janey. Look at where we are now! I finally completed my degree, all your research has been funded courtesy of Stark Industries, and we’re moving to New York!” Darcy turned the key in the ignition, hitting the road and watching as the old lab slowly disappeared from sight.

“We’re moving to New York,” Jane repeated, disbelief and excitement all over her face.

“The big apple better watch out, because it has no idea what's about to hit it.” Darcy turned the radio up to blasting and shot a grin at her best friend.

This was what they needed. A fresh start. New scenery. Somewhere for Jane to do her science and show the world all her research on soulbonds. 

The thought made Darcy scratch absently at the spot below her collarbone, where she knew black words lurked beneath her shirt.

Jane was lucky enough to have found her soulmate already. She had spent her life researching soulmarks and bonds, trying to make sense of the one thing science couldn’t explain. Jane was convinced there had to be something in our DNA, something that made us perfectly compatible with one other person on the whole planet. Or, well, one other person in the whole Universe- because Realms were a thing now, thanks Thor.

After meeting her alien space prince, Jane was only more motivated to understand the science behind soulmates. Thor taught her about the Asgardian beliefs for soulmarks- that the fates blessed you with the first words your soulmate would ever say to you through powerful magic, far beyond comprehension. Jane still thought there was a scientific explanation. Darcy thought the answer was somewhere in the middle.

I mean come on, these days there were real life gods falling from the sky. Magical fates really weren't _that_ far fetched. But at the same time, there had to be a scientific explanation as to why two people were so much more suited to each other than anyone else, right? Atleast, all of Jane's research into soulbonds and failed pairings certainly suggested there was. 

Darcy still hadn’t found her soulmate. Her words were a dark black, not gold like Jane’s. When she was younger, and still a hopeless romantic, all Darcy had ever wanted was to find her soulmate. Nowadays there were alien invasions and evil government organisations to deal with. She wasn’t sure how anyone could fit into her life anymore. It was too dangerous. She couldn’t put her soulmate at risk like that. Refused to.

That, and as she grew older, she realised maybe meeting her soulmate wasn’t such a good idea after all. Her finger traced over the words on her skin.

_‘I thought you were dead,’_

As a kid, she thought maybe her soulmark was meant as a joke. She imagined countless scenarios of running into her soulmate, them being so excited to see her that they blurted out something crazy like that. But as she got older, and her life got more dangerous, it became harder and harder to imagine any scenarios where ‘I thought you were dead’ could be a good thing.

It felt more like a curse than anything. A warning.

Darcy shook her head. New beginnings. New place. New scenery for her and Jane. 

“Thor’s back,” Jane said out of nowhere. Darcy glanced at her.

“Did he text you or something?”

Jane shook her head, clutching a hand to her chest.

“Seriously? You can feel him from all the way out here?”

Jane nodded. “Our bond is still getting stronger. Last time I could only feel him when we were in the same city. But now I can feel him all the way in New York.”

Another thing about soulmates- once you say each other's words, and more importantly _accept_ each other, you get what’s called a _bond_. It basically meant you could sense the other person- how far away they were, what they were feeling, that sort of thing. The deeper the connection, the stronger the bond and the stronger the senses. Jane and Thor had been together for a couple years now, but it was rare for anyone- even mates that had been bonded for decades- to have a bond that strong.

“Do you think it's an Asgard magic thing?”

“Maybe,” Jane frowned, before reaching for her notebook and scribbling some things down. Darcy left her to it, turning the radio up to deafening, and settled in for the long drive. They had plans to stop in several places along the way, so it was going to be at least a 2 day trip.

Darcy touched her soulmark one last time. Wondered absently what her soulmate might be doing right now.

~~~

“Oh gods, it’s finally over,” Darcy gasped, opening the driver's side door of the van and practically melting out of her seat.

Jane climbed out beside her, looking much more dignified than Darcy. 

“Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad.”

“Jane, you know I love you, but if I hear one more fact about microbiology my brain is going to melt out of my ears.”

Jane just rolled her eyes, grabbing whatever bags she could carry from the back of the van.

The trip took them a full three days. It was late afternoon when they finally arrived at the tower, parking the van in the hidden employees only garage. Darcy bit her tongue to stop from squealing in excitement. She was an employee at _Stark. Industries._

Thunderous footsteps approached from behind them and Darcy glanced up to see none other than Thor himself coming towards them. He was in casual wear, swinging mew mew around like it was nothing. 

“My Jane! Lady Darcy! You have finally arrived!”

Jane ditched Darcy with the bags and ran over to jump into Thor’s giant arms, which, fair.

He gave her a thorough kissing before putting her gently back on her feet and turning to Darcy. She let out a tiny _oof_ as she was squeezed into one of Thor’s famous bear hugs.

“Missed you too, big guy. But hey- give a girl some breathing space, would ya?”

“My apologies, Darcy,” Thor grinned, setting her back on her feet. “I trust your trip went well? I sensed great amusement from Jane during your travels.”

“I knew you were boring me on purpose!” Darcy said, snapping a finger at Jane. Her best friend only grinned. 

“I thought you liked hearing about cell reproduction for three hours.”

“You are the worst.”

“You love me,” Jane said, not apologetic at all.

Darcy huffed as Thor picked up their bags. She was fully prepared to help, but he’d managed to grab all eight of their bags in one hand.

“Huh, yay muscles,” Darcy quipped. Thor raised an eyebrow at her, before shaking his head. 

“I should tell you it is just us at the Tower, currently. Many of our friends are away fighting, there was an altercation with Hydra just north of here, but I am told they will return later this evening.”

“Hydra?” Darcy questioned. “I thought the Black Widow exposed all those assholes months ago.”

Thor inclined his head. “It seems our troubles are not over yet.”

Well that was...vague.

“I will show you to your rooms,” Thor decided, leading them towards an elevator.

~~~~

_Rooms_ , Darcy decided, was a highly underrated word. _These_ were practically whole houses- fully equipped with a huge kitchen, bathroom, living area and even a fricken terrace. Darcy couldn't wait to fill the space with her very own garden. She had plenty of desert plants that she’d brought from New Mexico- they’d be perfect out here.

All her other bags were already waiting for her in her bedroom, which had a california king, by the way. Gods, she had to get Tony such a good christmas present this year. Maybe she would do some baking for him. 

Darcy opened her closet to reveal a walk in wardrobe.

Okay, definitely a yes to the baking. She came up with a list of six different dishes on the spot, but somehow it still didn’t feel like enough.

“Darcy?” Jane called, knocking on her door.

“It’s open!” she replied.

Jane let herself in, finding Darcy surrounded by bags and boxes in the bedroom. “Aren’t these rooms insane?!” Darcy exclaimed, plopping down onto her huge bed.

“You should see Thors,” Jane chuckled. “Everything was specially made to fit him. I can barely reach the door handles, it's like an apartment made for giants.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. And everythings made out of iron, so he can’t break it. Even the plates are indestructible.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Wow is exactly right.”

“Have you seen your lab yet?”

“No, I came to ask if you wanted to come see it with me?”

“And not have to unpack? Uh, hell yeah.”

Darcy jumped up from her bed and followed Jane out into the hall. Her and Thor were staying just a few rooms down from Darcy.

“I’m surprised Tony let me stay up here. Isn’t this like, the Avengers only floor?”

“Actually, Tony has his own floor. And I think Steve and some others are on the floor above this. But still, I told Pepper when I signed the contract. Where I go, you go.”

“Really? You said that to Pepper Potts?” Darcy smirked.

“Well, yes. In my head I did, anyway. In real life I just politely requested she keep us close together.”

“That’s more like it,” Darcy chuckled. Jane laughed with her.

They rode the elevator down to the 64th floor. JARVIS announced that they had arrived at “Research Labs 2, Scientist in charge: Dr Jane Foster.”

“Thanks, JARVIS,” Darcy grinned, trying not to feel silly for talking to the ceiling.

“My pleasure, Miss Lewis. Please alert me if you need anything further. Mr. Stark asked me to tell you that he hopes the lab is to your liking, and feel free to make any changes that you wish.”

The elevator doors opened silently, and Darcy was greeted by a flood of warm light over the pristine white lab.

There was already twice as much space as their lab in New Mexico, and Darcy sensed that the room wrapped around further- going even deeper than what she could already see.

All of Jane’s machines were placed carefully around the room. There was even- “Jane, look! I finally have a real desk!”

To the right of the elevator was a giant dark wood desk. It was accompanied by a comfy looking chair and a cute little rug underneath. The front of the desk looked straight out the window to the view of manhattan. It was the only area in the room that wasn't white tiles.

“Oh wow, Darcy. It looks perfect for you,” Jane replied, coming to examine the desk with Darcy.

It was something so small, but the fact that Tony had gone out of his way to include a personal space for Darcy- she couldn’t help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Tony was getting _so_ many baked goods this week.

Jane turned around to examine the rest of the lab. Darcy was right, it did go further than expected. Behind a dividing wall was another room containing countless computers, microscopes, and other equipment used for measuring various samples.

“Gods, this is amazing,” Jane said, completely awestruck.

“You finally got your dream lab,” Darcy smiled. “And it’s in the same building where your soulmate sometimes lives.”

“Am I dreaming? Pinch me. Actually- no don’t- I don’t want to wake up.”

Darcy laughed, pulling her friend away from all the big shiny machines.

“C’mon, Janey. The sciencing can wait. I don’t know about you, but i’m starving.”

“Surely we can do a little science-”

“No, Jane. Food first. Don’t make me get Thor,” Darcy threatened when Jane pouted. They reentered the elevator, Jane much more reluctant than Darcy.

“Fine. Food first. And _then_ -”

“ _Then_ we relax and sleep. Science can wait until the morning-”

“But Darcy-”

“No buts, Jane. We just did a huge drive. You deserve a night to relax. Besides, this is the first time in weeks you’ve seen Thor. I’m sure he misses you,” Darcy said, wagging her eyebrows. Jane flushed.

“Fine. One night.”

“Atta girl. Now, what do we want for dinner? Thor said something about a communal kitchen?”

“Yeah, above the residential floors. Apparently Stark always keeps the cupboards stocked.”

“Perfect, i’ll cook.”

“Good, because we both know I can’t. And the last time Thor tried, he almost destroyed the stove and caused a city wide lightning storm.”

Darcy couldn't help but laugh, remembering all of Jane and Thor’s awful attempts at cooking. Darcy learned pretty quick when she started working with Jane that the woman was absolutely brilliant- but the one thing in the world she could not do was cook. Anything more than toast or a bowl of cereal, and Jane threatened the safety of not only herself, but everything within a 30 foot radius of her. It was almost impressive, just how bad she was.

“Yeah, we really don’t need a repeat of that. The old apartment still has scorch marks on the ceiling- which, I still don’t know how you caused a fire. You were _boiling eggs_. How do you make a fire from _boiling eggs_.” 

“No idea. But I never want to try it again.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” Darcy giggled.

The elevator doors opened on their floor. Thor had been waiting for them, and entered.

“Did you know we were coming?” Darcy asked in surprise. Thor planted a sweet kiss on Jane’s cheek.

“I felt my lady’s call,” Thor said. Darcy raised a brow in question.

“I tugged on the bond,” Jane explained. “Thor can feel that. It lets him know I want his attention.”

“Right, right. I forgot you guys could do that already.”

Again, Darcy was taken aback by how developed Jane and Thors bond was. Feeling your partner's emotions were common, but manipulating the bond like Jane and Thor could was pretty rare.

“I must admit, I am very glad to have you back Lady Darcy,” Thor interrupted, smiling at her.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“Your cooking skills have been dearly missed. I am yet to find anyone who can match your fluency in the kitchen.”

Darcy laughed out loud. “Don’t worry, buddy. I’m making a bunch of baking for Stark. I’ll make some extra for you too.”

Thor's whole demeanor changed and his face lit up with excitement. “Can you make those little men again? With the red outfits?”

“You mean gingerbread cookies?” Darcy asked, screwing up her face. “Usually those are just for christmas but sure, whatever you want.”

Thor was practically vibrating with anticipation. Jane couldn’t help but laugh at him, tugging him down by the hand to plant a kiss on his cheek.

The elevator doors opened again to reveal a huge kitchen and modest living space. Darcy spotted a large tv surrounded by couches, and wondered how often anyone actually sat there. The couches looked hardly used.

Jane and Thor took a seat at the kitchen stools while Darcy familiarised herself with the contents of Stark's kitchen. 

“Let’s see...ground beef, onions, cabbage...oh! Tomatoes. Hey, how does everyone feel about spaghetti and meatballs?” Darcy called over her shoulder.

“Sounds good to me,” Jane replied. Thor grunted in agreement.

Darcy started pulling various ingredients from the fridge, preparing to make her meatballs from scratch. She moved on to the cupboards next, searching for spaghetti, because there was no way she was making the pasta from scratch too.

“Yes!” Darcy called, finally finding the pre made pasta. She laid out all the ingredients and got to work, chatting with Jane and Thor to pass the time.

It was strange. Darcy was used to making herself at home in new places. It was part of her ‘charm’. But she’d expected to feel more...anxious? Nervous? About being in Avengers tower, surrounded by superheroes. So far, though, all she felt was excitement. 

It was nice. After moving around so much since highschool, Darcy wondered if she’d finally found a place to call home.

~~~~

Forty minutes later and the whole common room area was smelling delicious. 

Darcy had gotten carried away and made enough food for at least 10 people, even with Thor’s appetite. But she was so excited to be cooking in such a nice kitchen that she couldn’t help herself.

The pasta was draining and the meatballs were ready. Darcy had just finished toasting some garlic bread and was about to pull out some plates when voices in the hall made her pause.

“Oh my _god_ what is that?” someone called.

“I don’t know but it smells _amazing_ ,” someone else replied.

Darcy looked over at Thor in question. Something about being a space prince meant he had super hearing, much better than Jane and Darcy.

“Our warriors have returned,” Thor smiled. “I believe Clint Barton and Sam, son of Will, are approaching, likely with the others.”

_Sam, son of Will?_

The door to the common room opened and in stepped the Black Widow herself, followed closely by Clint the iPod stealer, and finally the Falcon. Darcy’s jaw dropped open.

She knew this moment was coming, when she’d have to meet the superheroes. But damn it, she didn’t think she’d have to do it while they looked all… Avenger-y.

Each of them was disheveled and bruised in someway or another. Clint had blood on his arms, the Falcon had dirt smudged under his eye, and they were all dressed in menacing combat gear. Clint still had his bow strung across his chest.

“Friends!” Thor practically shouted. “Meet my soulmate Jane, and my lightening sister Darcy.”

Darcy couldn't help but smile a little at Thor’s nickname for her, but it immediately dropped when the black widow turned her assessing gaze on her. Darcy tried not to shiver.

“So _that's_ what smells so good,” the Falcon said, rushing over to check out her meatballs. She immediately snapped her wooden spoon up to block him.

“Ah! They aren’t ready yet. Get your dirty, bloody butt out of this kitchen.”

Jane's jaw dropped open in shock. There was a moment of terse silence, and Darcy suddenly realised that _she had just growled an Avenger in his own kitchen oh gods-_

But Darcy saw the corner of the Black Widows mouth lift up in a smile, and Clint dissolved into laughter. The falcon shook his head, hands up in surrender.

“My bad, it’s been so long since anyone cooked a decent meal around here,” he grinned at her, full of charm. Darcy had to stop herself from blushing. “Sam Wilson,” he said, extending a hand towards her. 

Darcy looked at his hand, covered in dirt and god knows what else, and raised her brow. 

“Right, I should clean up first,” Sam nodded. Darcy grinned at him, letting him know she was joking. 

“I made extra,” she promised. “But it's first in first served. No blood allowed in the kitchen.”

“I can respect that,” Sam nodded.

“I can see why Thor calls you lightening sister,” the Black Widow quipped, watching the whole exchange with amusement. “Im Natasha.”

“Darcy,” she replied, even though Natasha already knew her name. The widow just nodded in reply, smiling at her faintly.

“Clint-” Barton said, trying to introduce himself.

“I know who you are,” Darcy narrowed her eyes. “Don’t think i’ve forgotten about my iPod.”

“Ah,” Clint said. At least he had the decency to look sheepish about it. This time it was Sam’s turn to laugh.

“Oh, you’re going to be _fun_ ,” Sam promised, pointing at her. 

Darcy just grinned while Jane shook her head.

“If I get you a new iPod, can I have some of whatever you’ve been cooking?” Clint asked, looking at her hopefully. Darcy thought it over.

“I had a lot of songs on that iPod,” she said simply. “It’ll be hard to replace them all.”

Clint looked at her, assessing. Darcy stared right back. After almost a minute, Darcy raised a brow and Clint finally broke. 

“Fine! I’ll get you a new iPod, and i’ll even redownload all your songs for you. Happy now?”

Darcy looked at him in surprise. “Phil Coulson said my iPod got destroyed.”

“There will be a copy of its contents somewhere. This is SHIELD we’re talking about. They take copies of everything.”

“Promise?” Darcy asked. She saw Jane stifle a laugh from the corner of her eye. Clint gave her a look, as if to say, _seriously?_

Darcy refused to back down. Clint sighed in exasperation “ _Yes_ , I promise.”

“Good,” Darcy grinned. “Go clean up, i’ll save you a plate.”

“ _So_ much fun,” Sam repeated, looking at her. 

Clint went to freshen up, Sam close behind him. Natasha lingered at the door.

“Want me to save you a plate?” Darcy offered, wondering why she didn’t follow the other two.

“No, thank you,” Natasha replied. Darcy waited, sensing there was more she had to say.

Natasha took one impassive look around the whole room, before settling on Darcy once more. “You’ll be good here.” She turned to Jane- “Both of you.”

Darcy frowned in confusion. “Um, thanks?” _I think?_

Natasha just nodded and left the room, not turning back once. Like that wasn’t weird at all.

“Well. She’s...intense,” Jane said. Darcy nodded in agreement.

“Is she always so…” Darcy made a weird gesture with her hands. Thor seemed to understand.

“Lady Natasha has a history which very few are privy to. It has made her the way she is now.”

“...O-kay,” Darcy replied. “Thank you for that, Cryptic Thor.”

“It is my pleasure,” Thor grinned goodnaturedly. 

Darcy went quiet, rethinking the whole interaction. “I like her. I think,” she said eventually. 

Jane nodded. “She’s scary, but in a cool, mysterious way. Hey,” Jane turned to Thor. “Does Natasha have a soulmate?”

“Jane!” Darcy scolded.

“What?! It’s just a question!”

“You know it’s rude to ask people about their soulmates! That’s personal!”

“It’s my job!” Jane replied, holding her hands up in self defense.

“Your job is to find out if the Black Widow has a soulmate?” Darcy deadpanned.

Jane rolled her eyes, turning back to Thor. “Well? Does she?”

Poor Thor looked uncomfortable with the whole situation. Darcy didn’t blame him. It was an unspoken rule that you weren't supposed to ask about a person's soulmate unless they brought it up first. Not everyone had a perfect bond story like Jane and Thor. Some people didn’t have soulmates at all, which was an incredibly sensitive and personal topic. Hence the unspoken rule of ‘don’t ask’. The rule, which Jane conveniently just broke.

“I fear it is not my place to say,” Thor began. 

“Please? I promise I won’t say anything. And neither will Darcy, right Darcy?”

“Oh no, don’t bring me into this!”

Jane glared at her. Thor cleared his throat. “It is believed that Lady Natasha had a soulmark, yes. But it was taken from her during her time at the Red Room. She does not know who her soulmate is. I fear she will never know.”

Darcy gasped. Jane's mouth dropped open. “It got taken from her?”

Thor nodded solemnly. “She bears a fearsome scar on her ribs. The soulmark was cut away, I imagine, and the wound was never truly allowed to heal.”

Darcy’s heart dropped. “Poor Natasha,” she whispered. Even Jane looked heartbroken by the news.

Darcy lifted a hand to her collarbone. Sure, she had issues with her own soulmark, but the idea of ever having it taken from her...Darcy shivered. Something in her very core went cold and dark just thinking about it.

Jane looked at her and Darcy glared back. _See?_ Darcy said with her eyes. _This is exactly why you don't ask about other people's soulmates. Bad idea._

Jane frowned back, regret written all over her face.

Thor tried to lighten the mood, changing the topic to something rather. Darcy turned her focus back to their dinner, willing herself to stop thinking about her soulmark. Her words seemed to pulse in response.

She wondered, sometimes, if it was alive. Darcy remembered years as a kid when her mark would get so cold, like frostbite. The words would fade- still black, but not so vibrant. Like they were muted. Dormant. Darcy would rub her mark, but no matter how hard she tried, it was always cold.

And then, a while later, sometimes days and sometimes years, her words would warm up again.

Darcy tried to ask her mother about it, but no one believed her. Soul marks didn’t fade or change temperature. Even if your soulmate died, the words were still dark black or shimmery gold.

Nowadays it didn’t bother her so much. Her words hadn’t been cold in a long time, which Darcy hoped was a good thing.

She set aside plates for Thor, Jane and herself before beginning on Clint and Sam’s. Right on cue, footsteps came thundering down the hall.

“You gotta see it, Steve. It looks _amazing,_ ” one voice said. Sam’s, judging by the volume.

“Oh yeah?” someone replied, probably Steve. Oh shit, Steve. As in, _Steve Rogers_ , her dad’s childhood hero, and literal Captain America. “I can smell it from here. Smells good.”

“ _So_ good,” Clint confirmed. Darcy chuckled.

The door opened as the three of them walked in. Clint immediately swooped for the biggest plate, which Darcy had prepared for Thor. She swatted his hand with her trusty wooden spoon.

“Nope- that’s for Thor. _This_ one's for you.” 

Clint pouted as Darcy pushed a smaller plate towards him. “There's still some in the pot,” she promised, which brought a smile back to his face. 

Clint grabbed the plate and plopped down next to Thor. Sam and Steve approached next. And yup, that sure was Captain America alright. He wasn’t in his suit, but she almost wished he was. That tiny t-shirt was doing nothing to hide his bulging muscles. She was practically drooling.

“For you,” Darcy said, pushing a plate towards Sam, determined not to make a complete fool of herself in front of Steve _ohmygodbiceps_ Rogers.

Clint moaned from behind them, “Christ, Lewis. I am buying you the _best_ iPod.”

Darcy just grinned at him, turning her attention back to Steve Rogers. “Want me to make you a plate?” she offered.

Sam abandoned the two of them, grabbing his food and taking a seat next to Clint. Steve Rogers held a hand out for her to shake.

“It’s nice to meet you, Miss Lewis. I’ve already heard a lot about you. You too, Dr. Foster,” he turned to greet Jane. She smiled politely back at him.

Darcy shook his hand, trying not to flush under his attention. “Likewise, Captain. You hungry?”

“Always hungry, ma’am. And please, call me Steve.”

Darcy grinned at him. Oh gods, he was adorable. “Alright Steve, take a seat and i’ll plate you up.”

He nodded, listening to her instructions perfectly and sat down next to Sam. Darcy gave Jane and Thor their food before starting on Steves. _Super soldiers had the same appetites as gods, right?_ Darcy shrugged, piling food onto Steve's plate, almost as much as she had for Thor.

She slid the plate towards him, before tucking into her own food. Steve smiled at her gratefully.

This was nice, Darcy realised. She missed cooking for people.

Growing up as the second oldest of five, Darcy was used to being part of a big family. Cooking for her siblings was one of her favourite things to do. It got lonely out in New Mexico, with no one to cook for but her and Jane. So she missed moments like this. Even if Steve and Sam were practically strangers to her- it felt familiar. Darcy was surprised to realise she felt completely comfortable.

“Oh my _god_ ,” Sam groaned, over halfway through his plate already. “Darcy, please tell me you’re staying forever. I can’t go back to frozen meals after this.”

Darcy laughed. Clint nodded in agreement. “Seriously. I don’t think you realise what you just got yourself into. None of us have the time or patience to cook, so we always eat out. And I love Stark- don’t tell him I said that- but i’d rather _die_ than eat another one of his bullshit healthy rich people meals.”

“Hear, hear,” Sam said, over a mouthful of spaghetti. Steve just looked at him, full of disappointment and disgust. Darcy laughed so hard she thought she might choke.

“Don’t worry. If i’m not busy in the labs, I promise i’ll cook for you,” she said, smiling at Sam and Clint. They both groaned in thanks, turning their attention back to the food.

Thor popped his head up, looking at Steve. “Where is your brother?”

“You mean Buck?” Steve replied.

“Yes. Did he not go on the mission with you?”

The room went quiet. Sam gave Steve a look.

“He did, yeah,” Steve cleared his throat. “It was a rough mission for everyone, but Bucky especially. I think being in the Hydra base brought back some bad memories. He’s in his room.”

Thor nodded solemnly. “Your friend has seen horrors worse than most. I hope he will recover swiftly.”

Steve looked down at his plate, “Yeah, he’ll be fine.”

Darcy frowned. Steve looked so defeated. 

She didn’t know much about Bucky Barnes, besides what she’d read in his file. As a kid, he’d been her childhood hero, and eventual crush, thanks to all the stories her dad had told her about the amazing Howling Commandos. But since then, all she knew about him came from his file- including his past with HYDRA, and all the vile things they’d done to him. Darcy wasn’t afraid to admit she cried the first time she read it.

No wonder he wasn’t feeling well after visiting a HYDRA base. It must have been torture for him, bringing back all those awful memories.

“Why did he go with you?” Darcy couldn’t help but ask. “I-I mean, uh, you don’t have to answer that-”

“It’s fine,” Steve shook his head. “I told him not to, but the punk’s stubborn. Won’t let me go on a mission without him.”

“Oh,” Darcy said quietly. She knew the things Bucky had done as the Winter Soldier. That had to change a person. But the fact that Bucky still refused to let Steve fight on his own, well, it reminded her of the Bucky in all her dad's Commando stories.

Sam cleared his throat. “This food is really amazing, Darc-”

“You want me to bring him a plate?” she interrupted. Steve looked at her in surprise.

“Sorry?”

“A plate. For your friend. Should I bring him one?”

Steve furrowed his brows. He knew Darcy knew about the Winter Soldier. It was part of her information dump before moving to the Tower. But clearly her willingness to do anything for Bucky had surprised him. To be honest, it surprised her too. But hey, Bucky’s story had pulled at her heartstrings- so what if she wanted to look out for the guy? Even if he had been a brainwashed assassin for over 70 years...

“You’d do that?”

Darcy stuck with her gut. “Sure, we have enough leftovers.” 

Everyone else was quiet, watching the exchange unfold. Darcy ignored all the looks Jane was sending her.

Steve watched her, Darcy imagined he was looking for any signs of fear or deception. Eventually, he nodded.

“Okay, Miss Lewis. That would be great.”

Darcy beamed, grabbing another plate and stacking it up even higher than Steve’s. She poured all the remaining food out for Bucky, including the last three slices of garlic bread. She heard Clint splutter at the sound of the spoon scraping the bottom of the pan.

“Hey! I thought you said there would be leftovers!”

“I’ll make you more later,” Darcy promised. Clint grumbled, clearly not happy, but Darcy was having none of it. This would be her first time meeting Bucky, and after his terrible day, she wanted to make a good impression.

Steve watched them both in amusement, turning back to his plate once more. “This really is delicious, Darcy. Reminds me of my Ma’s cooking.”

“Really?” Sam interrupted. “Your mom made you spaghetti and meatballs back in 1930’s brooklyn?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Not exactly,” he hedged. “But she loved to cook. We didn’t have the money to spend on top notch ingredients, but she always made do. Food like this, hot and homemade- it reminds me of her.”

Darcy could tell Sam was about to tease Steve even further, but she interrupted him. “I’m glad,” she said. “Both my parents are terrible cooks. I learned everything I know from my grandmother.”

“Yeah?” Steve asked in surprise. 

“Mmhmm. I’ve got four other siblings, someone had to feed them.”

Steve chuckled. “I was never any good at it. Could burn water if I tried. But Bucky could cook. He used to come over every day and Ma would teach him.”

“Oh really?” Darcy grinned. “So the great Captain America can’t cook?”

Steve rolled his eyes at her, but he didn’t stop smiling, which Darcy took as a win.

“Makes two of us,” Clint shrugged, shovelling more pasta into his mouth. Jane looked at him in disgust, which, fair.

Darcy caught Sam’s eye. He was busy looking between her and Steve, a contemplative look on his face. 

Darcy raised a brow at him, but he shook his head and looked away. _Okay then, not weird at all._

Thor finished his plate and started picking at Janes. Eventually she just gave up and handed him the rest of her plate, which Thor took gratefully.

“We should go unpack,” Jane announced, then turned to glare at Darcy, “Now that _someone_ has banned science for the rest of the day.”

Darcy just grinned at her. Jane could complain all she wanted, but Darcy knew better. The two of them had barely slept during their three day journey to NYC. Jane needed the rest, whether she liked it or not.

Thor put his arm around her waist, rubbing circles into her back.

“Thank you for the meal, Lady Darcy.”

“No worries, big guy. I’ll see you in the lab tomorrow morning, Janey.”

“7am!” Jane pointed at her. Darcy rolled her eyes.

“I’ll be there at 9.”

Jane huffed but was dragged away by Thor, so Darcy was spared from any further complaints.

Sam gave her a look. “You’re good at that.”

“At what?”

“Handling people. Ever considered a career in counselling?”

Darcy screwed up her face. “Uh, not really. I have enough issues on my own. Should probably deal with those before I start taking on other people's problems.”

Clint started laughing. “Join the club. Everyone in this building has major issues. It’s practically a requirement.”

Sam just ignored him and nodded at Darcy in understanding. “Yeah, I get that. But hey, let me know if you’re ever interested. I think you’d be good at it.”

“I will,” Darcy replied, feeling slightly off centre. Sam had known her for all of twenty minutes and already offered her some kind of job. Is this what life was going to be like at the tower? 

She shrugged. _Superheroes._

Darcy finished off the last of her meal, heading to the sink to start washing up.

“Uh uh, no you don’t,” Sam stopped her. He grabbed his, Clint and Steve's plate and met her at the sink. “You cooked, I’ll clean.”

“You don’t have to do that-” Darcy tried.

“I insist.”

He didn’t wait for a response, just snatched her plate and started washing up. Darcy huffed, looking to the others for support. 

Clint just grinned at her, his hands over his now bulging stomach. Steve shrugged at her, as if to say, _what can you do?_

Darcy frowned, not finding the support she was looking for, and left Sam to do the cleaning up.

“Why don’t you go and take Barnes his plate?” Sam suggested.

Darcy looked at Steve for confirmation, who smiled. “Yeah, come on. I’ll take you to his room.”

 _Alright then,_ Darcy thought. She picked up Bucky’s plate and went to follow Steve- running back last minute to grab a bottle of water too. Just in case.

Steve walked her down the hall and back towards the elevators. Darcy was surprised to find herself at ease next to the great Captain.

“Thanks for doing this, Darcy,” Steve said to her.

“It’s no trouble, really. Besides, it sounds like Bucky could use a pick me up.”

“Yeah, about that. You’ve read his files, right?” 

He looked at her, eyes searching. For what, Darcy didn’t know.

“Yeah, of course. Stark said we had to read everyone's files before we moved in.”

“Right, I thought so…” he went quiet for a moment. Darcy waited. “You aren’t afraid?”

“Of what?”

“Of Bucky. You’ve read his files. You know what he’s capable of. What he did. Aren’t you afraid of him?”

“Are _you?_ ” Darcy countered, raising a brow. Steve shook his head vehemently.

“No of course not. Bucky won’t hurt me. He hasn’t had an incident in almost a year.”

She was bolstered by his confidence. “Well then, I have nothing to be afraid of.”

That was probably a lie. There were plenty of things to be afraid of when it came to Barnes- the Winter Soldier being all of them. But while Darcy was a little anxious to meet him, she wasn’t afraid. 

“Really?” Steve pushed. 

“Really. All those things that happened to him- the things he did- they weren’t his fault. And look, I don’t know Bucky personally, but if it were me- I wouldn’t want people to be scared of me. That would only make me feel worse.”

Steve looked at her in surprise.

“What?” she asked. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No- no, you’re right. Just- i’m not used to that. Usually people see Bucky and run the opposite way. Especially someone as small as you.”

“As small as me?” Darcy questioned, lifting a brow. Steve immediately flushed.

“Sorry, that came out wrong-”

“I’ll have you know, _Captain_ , that I can handle myself just fine thank you very much.”

“I know you can, Darcy. Sorry. Bucky always said I was useless at talking to girls.”

He reached up to rub the back of his neck in embarrassment. Darcy laughed at him, but her gaze caught on the flash of skin on his neck.

Steve had shimmery gold words across the base of his neck. Darcy couldn’t see what they said, but the handwriting was a beautiful cursive, almost vintage looking. Steve caught her staring.

“Sorry-” she stammered. “That was rude of me.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” he said, clearing his throat.

Darcy cursed herself for having such bad manners. It was rude to look at another person's mark without their permission. She was mentally kicking herself when Steve’s voice interrupted her. 

“Peggy,” he said.

“What?”

“Peggy. She’s my- _was_ my- soulmate. She passed away earlier this year.”

Suddenly it clicked. Peggy Carter, of _course_ she was Steve's soulmate. “Oh Steve,” Darcy began, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he shrugged, but his face got that same look from earlier, from when he was talking about Bucky. Sad. Defeated.

Darcy raised a hand to the spot just under her collarbone.

“I haven’t met mine,” she said.

“Really?” Steve looked at her in mild surprise. Darcy shrugged.

“I thought I might run into him after college. But then I got swept up with Jane, and then Thor happened,” she sighed. “I guess I never got the chance to go looking for him.”

“You’ll find him soon,” Steve said. He looked so sure, Darcy started to believe him.

“We’ll see,” she smiled.

_I thought you were dead._

The elevator dropped them off at the 75th floor, two above her, Jane and Thor.

“So who’s on this floor?” Darcy asked. 

“Nat, Clint, Bucky and I. Sam and Banner are on the floor below, and Tony’s got the next one up all to himself,” he said the last bit with exasperation.

Darcy laughed at him. “So i’ve heard. Perks of owning the whole building, huh?”

Steve nodded in agreement. “That’s one of them.”

He led her down the hall, pointing at different doors as he went.

“Nat’s here, Clint is a little further down. This one's mine,” he walked a little further, stopping at the last door on the floor. “And this one is Bucky’s.”

Darcy waited anxiously as Steve knocked on the door. He was met with silence.

“Are you sure he’s even-”

“Buck,” Steve called, knocking again. “I know you’re in there.”

Nothing happened for a few more moments. Darcy started to frown.

Suddenly, they heard footsteps approach, but Darcy was more focused on her mark. It felt hot all of a sudden, almost tingly. She had to force herself to stop from scratching at it.

The door was suddenly thrown open, and Darcy’s mouth dropped open at the sight.

Bucky Barnes was standing there. Only it wasn’t the Bucky Barnes she remembered from her history books. This one had long, dark hair, mused like he’d been running his fingers through it. His cool blue eyes landed on Steve at first, before very deliberately turning to her. Her breath caught in her throat.

The guy was _hug_ e. Despite being hunched in on himself, for what Darcy didn’t know, his shoulders were still as wide as the door frame. He kept his left arm tucked into his pockets, hiding what Darcy guessed was an arm made of pure metal.

Darcy tightened her grip on the plate, suddenly afraid she was going to drop it. Her soul mark thrummed in response.

“Buck, this is Darcy,” Steve introduced. Bucky didn’t take his assessing gaze off her, and she found she couldn’t look away. “She and Dr. Foster, Thor’s soulmate, just moved into the tower.”

Steve cleared his throat when neither of them responded, and Bucky’s gaze snapped back to his friend.

“She thought you might be hungry, so she made you something,” Steve’s voice grew strained, clearly begging Bucky to say something.

Barnes just turned his gaze back to Darcy. She swore internally. 

_Dammit_. She would not ruin her first impression with her childhood crush.

“Hey there, Soldier,” Darcy winced at how scratchy her voice sounded. “I heard you could use a pick me up.”

She extended the food toward him. Bucky’s blue eyes widened.

Darcy felt Steve go very, very still beside her. 

“Bucky-” 

“I thought you were dead.”

Darcy’s stomach turned to lead. She felt the plate drop from her hand, but didn’t hear it crash over the thrumming of blood in her ears.

Bucky’s face turned panicked, he looked to Steve for help. Darcy felt frozen. She couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. 

The spot beneath her collar bone burned, spurring her into action. Darcy yanked at the shirt she was wearing, just in time to see her words change from solid black to shimmering gold. She gasped.

Steve swore. Darcy turned to Bucky. He looked like he was going to be sick.

That’s my soulmate. He’s my soulmate. _Oh my god, the Winter Soldier is my soulmate._

Bucky shook his head, stumbling back into his room. 

“You’re supposed to be dead. They said you were dead.”

“Bucky-” Steve tried to steady his friend, raising a hand to catch him.

“ _They killed you,_ ” Bucky swore, looking at her with so much pain she gasped, feeling the sensation resonate through her chest. Bucky’s eyes went wide, feeling it too.

She saw the exact moment he lost it. Felt it in her chest. Bucky looked around his room in a panic, like a caged animal.

“Bucky no!” Steve shouted. But Bucky didn’t listen, he took one last look at Darcy and threw himself out of the room and down the hall, disappearing from sight.

“Buck-” Steve looked at her, torn. Darcy shook her head.

_“Go.”_

Steve nodded, she watched as he took off after Bucky.

Darcy’s legs felt shaky. She could still sense Bucky’s panic in her chest. Not a bond, they hadn’t accepted each other yet, but something. 

Darcy looked down at her words once more, still startled by the glittery gold. She raised a hand to it, unsurprised to find the skin bright hot and irritated. 

She dropped to the ground, putting her head into her hands. Something cracked, and she looked down to see the plate she had made for Bucky was shattered. It was the last straw.

Darcy bawled, surprised by the suddenness of her own tears but unable to make them stop. Sobs raked through her, so hard she could barely breathe. Darcy gasped against the pain, and that feeling in her chest _clenched._

Her one chance to meet her soulmate and she had fucked it up completely. Bucky didn’t want her. He ran just to get away from her. 

She couldn’t control her sobs, couldn’t control the onset of emotions coursing through her. She didn’t know which were hers and which were Bucky’s- couldn’t see past the panic and the fear and confusion- but worst of all, the overwhelming sense of loss. 

Darcy tried to inhale, tried to breathe, but the panic was too much. 

“Miss Lewis-” a voice called. Whos voice, where it came from- she didn’t know. “Miss Lewis-” it tried again.

Darcy looked around, trying to understand.

“My sensors show an increased heart rate and decrease in oxygen. I believe you are having a panic attack.”

_What-_

“Miss Lewis, I have sent for Dr. Foster, she will be with you in a moment. Please, try to breathe.”

Darcy gasped, burying her hands in her hair. I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe-

“Darcy?” a voice called. “Oh my gods, Darcy.”

She was pulled into a hug. Darcy didn’t see who it was, her eyes were shut tight to try and stop the tears, but she could tell by the shampoo that it was Jane.

“Darcy what happened?!”

“He doesn’t want me, Janey,” Darcy shook.

“What- who doesn’t want you?”

“Bucky-”

“I don’t-”

“He’s my soulmate, Jane.”

Darcy felt her best friend freeze. All of the air rushed out of her lungs.

“Come on, let's get you back to the apartment.”

Darcy couldn’t quite remember what happened next. Her chest felt too tight and her emotions were all crazy. She thinks she might have passed out. Either way, the last thing she remembered was being wrapped up in strong arms and carried away.

Bucky’s open door was the last thing she saw.

~~~~

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Jane asked, chewing her bottom lip with worry. Thor rubbed her arm reassuringly.

He had just finished laying Darcy down in her own bed. Her poor best friend had never looked worse. Darcy’s eyes were puffy and her face was red, but the rest of her skin was shockingly pale. 

“She will be fine,” Thor promised. “It was the bond snapping into place. She was overwhelmed by Barnes’ emotions, it caused her to panic.”

“I tried calling Steve, but he hasn’t responded. JARVIS said Bucky left the tower and Steve followed him out.”

“It will be alright, my love.”

“How can you be so sure?” Jane said, turning to shove her face into his chest. The scent of him always calmed her down.

“Trust me,” he said, kissing the top of her head.

~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is completely unbetad, so any and all typos and mistakes are my own. That being said, please let me know if you spot any! It’s easy to miss a mistake when you’re editing your own work :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's only a short update today! I was planning on waiting until Monday to upload the next chapter, but I was so overwhelmed by the positive feedback that I thought I'd post a quick update earlier to say thank you <3 There will still be an update on Monday, too.
> 
> I'm expecting this story to be approximately 50k, so far im about halfway with the writing so I still have a little bit to go, but I'll definitely stick to at least one update a week.
> 
> Thanks again for all your love on the first chapter, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Artemis
> 
> PS. minor warning for some swearing in this chapter, in case that bothers you.

Darcy woke alone in her room, with no idea of how she got there.

Her bed was still unmade, all of her things yet to be unpacked. She took a deep breath. 

Something inside her chest thrummed.

She gasped, leaping out of bed and running to the nearest mirror. A pull on her shirt revealed everything she thought she’d dreamed.

 _I thought you were dead,_ was no longer black but a shining, shimmering gold.

She took a step back, rubbing at her tired eyes, but nope. The mark was still gold. 

Barnes was her soulmate. _The Winter Soldier was her soulmate_. 

Darcy ran her hands through her hair, trying to steady herself.

“Just breathe, Darce. Everything's fine. Totally fine. You found your soulmate- yay! Except he’s the winter soldier and he hates you because you're apparently supposed to be dead.”

Darcy’s reflection stared back at her.

“Oh what the fuck,” she exclaimed, dropping to the floor. She put her head in her hands, pulling at her tangled hair. _I’m going insane._

Darcy looked back at her reflection. She was embarrassed to see a red, blotchy face and messy hair looking back. Darcy wasn't sure if she'd ever looked any worse.

_What the fuck am I going to do?_

She sat there for a moment, gathering her thoughts. That _thing_ inside her chest hummed. She knew it wasn’t a bond- at least, not a complete bond. The only way to form a complete bond was to formally accept your soulmate, which neither she or Bucky had done. But that thing she felt in her chest was the _beginning_ of a bond. The potential for one.

It pulsed in her chest, like something real- tangible- _alive_. Darcy could almost see it if she closed her eyes. A thin strand of gold, twined around her chest, leading to the one person who couldn’t stand her.

Darcy closed her eyes, focusing on the strand. That feeling in her chest grew stronger.

She could feel things, when she focused on it. Thoughts, emotions, that didn’t belong to her. They were faint, but still there. 

The more she focused on it, the more she could feel. The emotions got louder and louder, until she could feel the echo of them in her own chest. Fear. Confusion. Anger. _Loss._

Darcy imagined herself reaching out to touch the strand, pulling on it like a guitar string. It pulsed, the movement shooting all the way down the strand, further and further away from her. 

The echo of emotion in her chest _lurched_ , panic burned her from the inside and Darcy gasped, her eyes snapping open.

 _Shit_. She hadn’t meant to do that.

She’d been drawn into the bond, listening to it’s call. She’d gone too far and tugged. Bucky had felt her.

Darcy groaned. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to handle any of this.

Something chimed from across the room. She recognised it as her ringtone. Jane had texted her.

_‘U ok?’_

_‘No.’_ Darcy replied honestly. Her phone chimed again.

_‘Thor and I are in the kitchen. Come talk?’_

Darcy sighed, not knowing what else to do. _‘Ok.’_

She went to the bathroom to wash her face and fix her hair, before throwing on a comfy sweater and leaving her apartment. 

She still looked pretty awful, but dammit, she _felt_ awful.

Jane and Thor were sitting on the couches in the communal kitchen when she arrived.

Jane looked up as she walked in and immediately jumped up from the couch, pulling Darcy in for a hug.

“I wasn’t sure if you were awake so I texted you,” Jane explained.

“How did I get to my room?”

“Thor carried you.”

“Oh,” Darcy said, letting go of Jane. They sat on the couches.

“Can you tell us what happened?” Jane asked. Darcy shrugged.

“Steve and I went to bring Bucky some food. When he opened the door, I said his words. I didn’t realise at first, but they started acting all weird, and then Bucky said my words-” Jane was looking at her in sympathy. Thor frowned. “I froze, I think. And then I felt my words change and he saw it. I felt his panic, in here,” Darcy pointed to her chest. 

“He was freaking out, but I was too frozen to even help him. He kept saying I was supposed to be dead- that ‘they’ said I was dead. And then he took off. Steve chased him down, but I couldn’t _breathe._ ”

“You were feeling the effects of the bond,” Thor nodded at her in sympathy. “It is very overwhelming at first, especially if the initial meeting is...unpleasant,” he tilted his head, looking for the right words. 

“He was so panicked,” Darcy said, curling in on herself. “And I couldn’t do anything but freeze.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Darcy,” Thor frowned. “This was not your fault.”

“What did he mean by ‘they said you were dead’? Who’s they?” Jane asked. Darcy shrugged.

“I don’t know.”

Jane sighed, placing a hand on Darcy’s knee.

“It’s gonna be okay, Darce. We’ll figure this out.”

“He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“You don’t know that. Let’s not be hasty here.”

Darcy looked at Jane. Let everything she was feeling show on her face. “He _ran away from me_ , Jane. He doesn’t want me-” Darcy’s voice broke, and she buried her head back in her hands.

This is why she didn’t want to meet her soulmate. She knew it was going to be bad. 

“Darcy- just stop and think for a second, okay? This is _Barnes_ we’re talking about. He’s been through more things than you and I could ever imagine. Now, I can’t speak for Bucky, but i’m sure this must have been terrifying for him. You said it yourself- you felt his panic. If there's anyone in the world who deserves a chance, and maybe a little patience, it’s him, right?”

Jane’s eyes locked on Darcy’s and stayed there. Darcy felt something deep inside her crack.

“Of course he deserves a chance. I just don’t think he wants me, Jane. You should’ve seen his face. He looked like he was going to be _sick._ ”

Jane’s mouth twisted in sympathy. “Everyone reacts differently. You know that. Just- just give it some time, okay? Talk to Steve. See if he knows where Bucky is. Maybe you two can have a talk.”

Darcy wasn’t sure she wanted to see Barnes again, after their first encounter. She was a tough girl, but she wasn’t sure she could handle getting so blatantly rejected again.

But Jane was right. Bucky was different. She couldn’t treat this like a normal bond because it wasn’t. Bucky had been through too much. She had to be considerate.

Darcy took a deep, steadying breath.

She would talk to him. If he didn’t want her, then fine. She would deal. After everything he’s been through, he deserved to make that decision for himself. 

But she would at least _try_ , because if anyone deserved the chance at a happy ending, it was Bucky. And if the magic fates were real, then they had paired her with him for a reason. She was going to do whatever it took to give Bucky Barnes the life he deserved, whether she was included in that life or not.

Darcy looked at Thor. He must have seen the resolve on her face because she saw him smile. 

“You believe in the fates, right?”

“Of course,” Thor answered. Jane just barely refrained from rolling her eyes.

“And they don’t make mistakes?”

“Never.”

Darcy nodded, turning her attention back to Jane. “I’ll talk to him.”

Jane smiled at her, that had apparently been the answer she was hoping for.

Darcy grabbed her phone and left the room.

She hoped she was making the right decision.

~~~~

She dialled Steve’s number. Apparently, sometime during her black out, her phone had been updated with the number for every important person in the building. Darcy wasn't sure if she should be impressed or concerned.

Steve answered on the second ring. Darcy tried to stop her hands from shaking.

“Hello?” he asked cautiously.

“Steve? It’s Darcy,” she croaked, voice breaking.

“Darcy-” he replied. Darcy felt the _thing_ in her chest lurch. “Are you alright?”

Darcy ignored him, taking a deep breath instead. 

“Is he with you?” she asked, though she already knew the answer.

She heard Steve sigh. 

“Yeah, he’s here. He needed to get out of the tower for a bit. I’m sorry.”

She nodded, even though he couldn't see her. Darcy tried to steel herself for Steve's next response. 

“Can we- does he-” she groaned, tugging on her hair in frustration. “Can you put him on the phone, please?”

Steve went quiet for a moment. She suspected he was asking Bucky if he wanted to talk to her. Darcy held her breath, waiting for him to respond.

Steve didn’t reply, but there was a shuffling in the background, and the phone went silent. Like the person on the other end was holding their breath.

“Bucky?” Darcy guessed. He didn’t respond, but that was confirmation enough. “Listen, i’m sorry for what happened. I should’ve said something earlier but I froze, probably from the shock. Anyway-” she took a deep breath, “I’d like to talk about this in person, if we could? You don’t have to say yes, there's no pressure, just- just think about it, okay? I meant what I said earlier. You seem like you could use a pick me up and I promise i’m a nice person. Just ask Steve.”

She heard a faint chuckle from the other end of the line. Not from Bucky, but Steve. Which meant that Steve was listening in. _Great, not embarrassing at all._

“You pulled on the bond, earlier,” Bucky husked. Darcy felt herself shiver at the sound of his voice. 

“I did, yeah. Sorry about that, it was an accident.”

She held her breath, waiting for him to respond. 

“You sure you want to talk to me?”

Darcy's face screwed up in confusion. 

“What do you mean?”

“I bailed on you, doll. Panicked and ran out the door. Do you really want to see me after that?”

“Of course I want to see you,” she frowned. “We’re soulmates.”

He paused. Darcy started cursing herself, wishing she had said something else instead-

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess we are.”

She sighed in relief, glad he hadn't just hung up on her.

“So...do you want to talk about this in person?”

He went quiet again. She got the feeling he was talking to Steve about what to do.

“I’m heading back to the tower now. Will you meet me in an hour? Steve will send you the location.”

“Oh!” Darcy couldn’t fight the surprise from her voice. “Sure-um, _yes_. Just- just text me. On this number.”

Darcy mentally face palmed. She always rambled when she got nervous.

Her chest thrummed with amusement. It was the first positive emotion she’d felt through the bond, and she couldn’t help but smile in relief.

“I’ll see you in an hour,” he said.

“See you,” Darcy whispered. The phone went dead.

~~~~

**EARLIER**

BUCKY'S POV

Steve found him on the rooftop of their old Brooklyn apartment.

“I haven’t been here in a long time.”

Bucky didn’t even turn around. He knew it was Steve long before he spoke.

“So, you finally found your soulmate,” Steve tried.

Bucky didn’t answer.

Steve kept going. 

“You gonna go back and talk to her?”

Bucky turned around, glaring. “You think she wants to talk to me after the stunt I just pulled?”

Steve shrugged. “Look, Buck. I don’t know Darcy very well, but she doesn't seem like the type to give up. You should at least try talking to her. She might surprise you.”

Bucky shook his head. Steve sighed. They sat in silence for a moment.

“They told me she was dead.”

“I know. I remember.”

“She’s not dead,” Bucky said, his voice shaking. Steve looked at him.

“She’s not,” he agreed.

“I don’t know what to do. I thought i’d lost her already, so I gave up trying. And now here she is, and _I don’t know what to do_.”

“You could talk to her, for one.”

Bucky glared at him. “She deserves better than someone like me.”

Steve shrugged. “I don’t know about that.”

“I’ve killed people, Stevie. So many people. Why should she have to be stuck with someone like me? She’d be better off dead.”

“Don’t say that,” Steve said, his voice low with anger. 

“It’s the truth, ain’t it?”

“We’ve all got a past, Buck. Yours worse than most. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve something good. HYDRA hurt you. Made you think your own soulmate was dead- but she’s not, Buck. This could be your chance for something good. Darcy could give you that, if you let her.”

Bucky was about to reply when he suddenly grabbed his chest, gasping for breath. Steve jumped.

“What is it? What happened?”

“The bond,” Bucky gasped. “I can feel her pullin’ on it.”

“Oh,” Steve said, relaxing. “What’s she doing?”

“Just-” Bucky closed his eyes, feeling for their bond. It was barely thicker than a strand of hair, but it was enough. “I can feel her. She’s distressed, and-” he furrowed his brows “Guilty?”

Steve nodded. “You took off on her. She’s probably blaming herself.”

“She shouldn’t,” he practically growled. Steve nodded.

“You should tell her that.”

Bucky ignored him. They sat in silence for a few more moments.

“I can’t believe this is real,” Bucky said, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes.

“Well you better believe it, pal. You got a soulmate back at the tower, wondering what the hell she did wrong.”

Bucky glared at Steve again. 

“Why’d you come to my room earlier, anyway?” he changed the subject.

“Darcy made us all a late lunch. Thor asked why you weren’t there and I said you were in your room. She wanted to bring you some.”

“Doesn’t she know who I am?”

“She knows.”

“Then why would she-”

“Why don’t you stop being a punk and just ask her yourself, hmm?”

If Bucky had something other than a knife on him, he’d throw it at Steve’s head right now. Instead he just sighed, glaring at the sky for making his whole life one great big fuck up.

“She’s pretty,” Steve hedged, waiting for Bucky’s reaction.

“Get your own,” Bucky growled. Steve smirked. 

Another minute passed.

“She is pretty,” Bucky practically whispered. “Reminded me of Anne Nagel when I first saw her. You remember Anne Nagel? That actress?”

“I remember,” Steve nodded.

“Darcy’s prettier, though.”

Steve bit back his smile. “So, you going to apologise or what?”

“I don’t think she wants to see me.”

Steve sighed, about to argue when his phone rang. He answered on the second ring, frowning at the unknown number.

“Hello?” Steve said hesitantly.

“Steve? It’s Darcy.”

“Darcy-” Steve sat up, ignoring Bucky’s panicked look from beside him.

~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did everyone find Bucky's POV? I wasn't going to post it originally, but I feel like it gives us a nice little insight into his character. It'll probably be the only time we see his POV, unless something changes later on. Anyway, let me know what you guys thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Darcy got Steve’s text a few moments later.

_‘Meet on the tower roof in an hour’_

She took a deep breath. This was really happening. She was meeting up with her ex brainwashed assassin soulmate after he ran away from her and she had a panic attack because of their bond.

What a life.

Darcy sent a quick text to Jane, deciding to head to her room and get ready for her meeting with Bucky. Barnes? James? Screw it, they were soulmates, she was going to call him Bucky. After all, that's what Steve called him.

_‘Hey Janey, I called him. We’re meeting on the roof in a bit to talk about things. Wish me luck.’_

Jane responded a moment later.

_‘So proud of you for trying, Darce. Good luck! I hope it all goes well <3’_

_‘Thor says hi’_

_‘He also says good luck.’_

Darcy chuckled at the texts, sending a few hearts back.

She arrived back at her room and stared at her unpacked bags in dismay. She had time to kill, she might as well use it to start unpacking. No matter how much she dreaded the thought of reopening each and every bag or box.

Darcy started on her bed, setting up her blankets and pillows just the way she liked. Jane used to tease her for having so many pillows (there were now 10), but Darcy didn’t care. They made her room feel homely and cozy.

After finishing up the bed she moved on to her clothes, hanging everything in her closet except for a few promising outfits. Darcy had no idea what you were supposed to wear when meeting your scary assassin soulmate for the second time, but a cute pair of jeans and a nice shirt seemed like a good place to start. After a moments deliberation, Darcy grabbed a pair of heels to go with it.

Her grandma always said- ‘dress the way you want to feel’. Just because Darcy felt fucking awful, didn’t mean she had to look awful. Plus, high heels gave her confidence, and right now she’d take what she could get.

Darcy gave herself a once over in her bedroom mirror, adjusting her glasses and fluffing her hair. It was getting close to the hour now, Steve and Bucky would be back any second.

She grabbed her phone and left the apartment, heading to the elevator. Her heart was beating out of her chest so rapidly she thought she might die.

“You’re fine, it’s fine, everything is fine,” Darcy told herself, taking a few deep breaths. She just prayed this meeting didn’t end like the last one- namely, her crying in the hallway while he ran away.

Darcy closed her eyes. _He sounded better on the phone, right? Less panicked?_ Maybe it was just wishful thinking- hell, maybe Darcy was hopelessly delusional- but right now she let herself believe it. 

The elevator took her up to the rooftop. The thing in her chest thrummed as she passed each floor. Her palms were sweaty and she was chewing her lip raw with anxiety.

Darcy focused on the bond, the only thing that felt real at that moment. It grew brighter the higher she got, as if it knew she was getting closer and closer to Bucky.

He must be there already, waiting for her. Darcy noted that the strand they shared wasn’t pulled so taught anymore, as if he was physically closer to her. She could even feel his emotions more strongly now.

Anxiety. Guilt. Fear. _Longing._

The elevator stopped at the highest floor, the doors sliding open with ease. 

Darcy wiped her sweaty palms on the back of her jeans, willing her legs not to turn to jelly as she walked.

She imagined the bond, gold and real, in front of her. She let it guide her to Bucky, following the strand away from the elevator and deeper onto the roof top. Her stomach flipped anxiously as it led her closer and closer to the edge of the building.

Bucky was waiting for her on the edge of Stark Tower, sitting on the ledge, with his legs hanging dangerously over the side.

Darcy felt the thing in her chest flare when she saw him. Her instincts were screaming at her to both get away from the edge, and run towards it- towards him.

He was sitting perfectly still. She had no doubt that he’d heard her footsteps from the elevator, but she still cleared her throat just incase. If possible, his posture became even more rigid.

Darcy took a deep, steadying breath. She focused on his appearance.

He was wearing a black jacket over dark wash jeans. Different to what he was wearing earlier, in his apartment. She wondered if he’d stopped there on his way to get changed. Somehow, she couldn’t imagine him doing such a thing.

He had his hands tucked into his pockets, head turned to watch the sunset. Though he turned to look at her when she cleared her throat.

Darcy couldn’t help but gasp when his blue eyes caught hers. The intensity of his gaze was enough to make her falter.

Darcy felt her heart rate skyrocket once more.

“Hi,” She whispered. 

Bucky’s face stayed carefully neutral, taking her in. Her skin burned as his eyes trailed down from her face and over her figure, lingering at her shoes. 

She shifted her weight anxiously. His gaze snapped back to hers.

“Hi,” he responded, voice husky, like he hadn’t spoken in a while.

The deep timbre of his voice was enough to turn Darcy’s cheeks a bright pink. She watched as Bucky zeroed in on her face, his eyes darkening. Darcy cleared her throat, mind scrambling for what to say.

“Mind if I sit down?” she finally asked, gesturing to the space next to him.

Bucky nodded, taking those searing blue eyes off of her in favor of the view.

They could see the whole skyline from up here. The sun was setting, bathing all of the buildings in soft purples and pinks. She’d find it beautiful if she weren’t so petrified of falling over the edge.

Darcy stepped closer slowly, edging towards the empty space beside Bucky. She was careful to keep some distance between her and the ledge, not wanting to take any chances. All the while, Bucky watched her intently from the corner of his eye.

“Are you afraid of heights?” he asked. Darcy startled, so focused on the edge that she’d almost forgotten about him.

“Um, yeah, a little bit,” she admitted.

Bucky immediately stood up. Darcy barely had time to blink before she suddenly got a faceful of supersoldier.

She screamed as Bucky grabbed her around the waist and lifted. Darcy panicked, clutching onto his neck and shoulders on instinct. He stood up straight, carrying her entire body in his arms, and took her away from the edge.

“Jesus Christ!” Darcy shouted, her feet still off the ground.

Bucky didn’t answer. He just carried her further and further away from the edge, towards the middle of the rooftop. In Darcy’s panic, she was able to spot a couple of metal benches.

Darcy waited until they were safely at the benches before letting go of the breath she was holding. Bucky put her down carefully, nodding to the closest seat.

“You could’ve atleast warned me,” she grumbled, though it lacked any real heat.

Bucky gave her a look. She was in the middle of deciphering it when she realised her arms were still clutched around his shoulders in a death grip.

“Shit!” Darcy swore, jumping away as if he’d burned her. “Sorry.”

She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes. Instead she just focused on the bench, wincing as she took a seat. _Not off to a great start there, Darce._

Bucky shook his head.

“You should’ve told me you were afraid of heights. I would have picked somewhere else to meet.”

His tone was soft, concerned. Darcy tried not let her surprise show.

First of all, _had his voice always been that soft and velvety?_ Second of all, she had practically climbed him like a tree just moments ago, and yet he was the one sounding sorry?

Darcy got the distinct feeling that she was in trouble. Deep, deep, _deep_ trouble.

She shook her head.

“It’s fine. I wanted you to choose the location so that you’d be more comfortable. If you want to be up here, then up here is where we’ll be.”

He gave her a strange look. She couldn’t tell if it was because of her rambling, or- and the reason she really believed- it was because no one had worried about his comfort before.

Darcy frowned, trying not to let her anger flow through their bond. She silently vowed to punch every HYDRA douchebag in the face for making Bucky Barnes think his comfort was unimportant.

Bucky frowned, deep in thought, before he took a seat beside her on the bench.

He kept a respectable distance. Atleast a foot away from her. And yet she could’ve sworn she could still feel the heat of his body next to hers.

They sat in silence for a moment. Darcy opened and closed her mouth twice, trying to figure out how to begin.

She was completely surprised when Bucky was the first one to speak.

“You know,” he paused, clearing his throat. “I used to be afraid of heights, too.”

“Really?” she asked, caught off guard.

The last thing she’d expected was for Bucky to start talking first. Let alone for him to say something so personal.

I mean, obviously Darcy knew the whole point of this ‘talk’ was to discuss their soul bond. But to be honest, part of her was still expecting him to just dump her and be done with it.

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “Before I joined the army.”

Darcy noted the way he said ‘before’. She furrowed her brows.

“So you’re not scared anymore?” 

He shook his head. 

“Why?” she asked.

He didn’t answer immediately. Darcy began cursing herself, wishing she’d just shut up instead of asking questions, when he turned those cool blue eyes onto her.

It was the first time she got to admire them up close. Under the light of the setting sun, they seemed to change colour- shifting from grey to blue to sea green. Darcy found herself completely entranced.

Bucky dropped her gaze, focusing on the hard concrete beneath their feet.

“There are worse things to be afraid of than heights.”

Darcy blew out a breath.

He wasn’t talking about snakes or spiders or cramped spaces. He was referring to HYDRA, and all the vile, disgusting things they’d done.

In comparison, heights seemed like a childish fear to have. Darcy suddenly felt insignificant.

“I’m sorry,” she said, not knowing what else to say. He shook his head.

“No, i’m sorry. I didn’t say that to make you feel…” he paused, furrowing a brow. Darcy wondered if he was studying their bond like she had been. “Anyway. I’m surprised you’re here.”

Now it was Darcy’s turn to look confused.

“What?”

“I’m surprised you’re here. I didn’t think you’d want to see me,” he admitted, avoiding her gaze. 

Darcy shook her head. “Why wouldn’t I want to see you?”

“Cause I panicked and ran out on you.”

Oh. Right. _That_. She huffed. 

“I’ll admit, not the meeting I was expecting.”

He looked at her again, those blue eyes wide and sorrowful. Darcy sighed. _How the hell was she supposed to do anything when he was looking at her like that?_

She felt the last of her resolve melt. 

“Look, it was my fault too, you know. I saw you freaking out. I felt it,” she said, gesturing to that thing in her chest. “I watched you run away, and I didn’t do a damn thing to stop you. Just froze on the spot like an idiot.”

He immediately shook his head, frowning at her. 

“Are you crazy? None of this is your fault. If anything, you’re a victim here.”

“I’m a victim? How?” 

“No one deserves to be stuck in a soul bond with me.”

Darcy’s mouth dropped open in shock. Those feelings of guilt and shame intensified, so vivid they felt like her own.

“Don’t say that,” she practically growled.

“It’s the truth.”

“No it’s not. That’s stupid.”

Bucky gave her a look.

“Look at me. Look at us. I’ve known you for all of one day and I already screwed this up. You don’t deserve that.”

“Stop telling me what I do and don’t deserve, Barnes. You don’t know what I’ve done.”

He dropped his head. 

“I’m sorry.”

Darcy took a deep breath. _Patience_ , she heard Jane’s voice whisper in her head.

“Don’t apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He gave her a look that said he clearly thought otherwise.

_Okay, Darcy. Time for a new approach._

She took a risk. 

“Can I see your words?” 

Bucky’s eyes went wide in surprise. He studied her face, looking for god knows what.

“Why?” he asked.

Darcy shrugged. Bucky frowned at her.

She thought about taking the question back and changing the subject to something else instead. But no, Darcy was holding her ground on this one. She needed to see the words for herself.

After a few moments of waiting, Bucky eventually nodded.

She bit the inside of her cheek as he carefully, deliberately, turned around. When his back was facing her, he lifted his arms to slowly remove his jacket.

Darcy could tell it made him uncomfortable having his back to her. It left him vulnerable, unable to see her or anything she was doing. But he didn’t stop.

The muscles of his back flexed and remained tense as he finally removed the jacket. Darcy watched on, completely helpless, as Bucky then pulled off his shirt and revealed his bare back to her.

Her words were a beautiful shimmering gold, stretching across the top of one shoulder to the other. Her bold, scratchy handwriting looked elegant on his skin. Like it belonged there.

She noticed the first few letters on his left shoulder had been removed and were now replaced by scar tissue and dark metal.

_‘... there, Soldier. I heard you could use a pick me up?’_

She lifted a hand, wanting to trace her words on his skin.

Bucky stiffened, anticipating her touch. Darcy stopped. She was about to pull her hand away when-

“Don’t.”

Bucky’s voice was strained, like he had to physically force the words out. She was prepared to ignore him, he was clearly struggling. But he’d asked her to continue, that was his choice, and Darcy would be damned if she was going to take away his choice from him.

She swallowed, telling herself to trust him, and raised her hand once more.

Her finger skimmed delicately over the first letter, careful of his scars. He went still under her touch, but she pushed on.

Darcy traced the length of his soul mark, running her fingertips from one shoulder to the other.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, awed.

He didn’t say anything, although she wasn’t expecting him to. Darcy reluctantly pulled her hand away from his warm back.

That thing in her chest twisted. She felt the bond go dark, almost sour. Darcy frowned at the sudden onslaught of negative emotions.

“HYDRA ruined it when they put that arm on me,” Bucky growled. “They didn’t need to take so much skin, the metal could’ve stopped at my bicep, but they wanted my shoulder too. Took away some of your letters on purpose, so they could mock me.”

Darcy felt rage run through her, but it wasn’t Bucky’s emotions this time. Oh no, this was all hers.

How dare they take away her words? Soul bonds were sacred, never to be touched by anyone, and yet HYDRA had the audacity to cut away at Bucky’s. Darcy was practically seeing red. She had never felt such anger in her life-

Bucky pulled away, putting his shirt back on.

He was tense, unable to meet her eyes. Darcy frowned, feeling his shame and humiliation through their bond.

She realised in shock that her anger was only making him feel worse. Her hands clenched the bench so tight her knuckles turned white.

She could be angry later, in private. Right now she needed to focus on Bucky- find a way to distract him from the pain he was feeling.

She took a deep breath, calming herself down.

“I know you saw your words earlier,” she said, gesturing to her collarbone. “But if you want, I can show you them again?”

It took a moment, but he slowly reached her eyes. She made sure to push as many comforting emotions down the bond as possible. Eventually, he nodded.

Darcy reached for the collar of her shirt, undoing a couple of the buttons. She opened it to reveal the soulmark under her collarbone.

Compared to her words, his were tiny, written in an elegant, old timey script. They started where her right shoulder met her chest, swooped under her collarbone, and curved down in the centre of her chest.

Bucky’s eyes went dark as studied the mark. Admittedly, it was in a pretty risque area, especially for someone with her bra size.

He lifted his right hand, just as she’d done, his eyes asking her for permission. She nodded.

She noticed that he’d used his flesh hand and not the metal one, despite the metal one being closer and at less of an awkward angle. She wondered why.

His finger grazed over her words, so delicately she could hardly feel him.

Darcy sucked in a breath, eyes trained on his face as he studied her mark.

_'I thought you were dead'._

Darcy tried not to shiver under his touch. Probably failed, judging by the way his pupils dilated and his hand on her skin froze.

Bucky cleared his throat, moving away.

“I’m sorry you had to live with that.”

Darcy shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. “I’ve seen people with worse.”

It was a true statement, but it didn’t make her feel any better. She could feel Bucky’s sadness echo her own through the bond.

Time to change tactics again.

“You know what would make me feel better?” Darcy asked.

“What?”

“If you explained what the words mean.”

He frowned. “I thought it was pretty self explanatory.”

“Not really,” she admitted. “Why did you think I had died? When we were back at your apartment, you kept saying ‘they said I was dead’. Who’s they?”

Bucky blew out a breath, biding his time. Darcy was content to wait.

His next words took her by surprise.

“You know, I joined the army ‘cause of you.”

“What?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, though the sound was bittersweet.

“I don’t understand,” Darcy said, letting her confusion show on her face.

“You called me ‘soldier’ in my soul mark. I knew I wouldn’t get to meet you until I had served. So when the war came, and the drafters started asking for recruits, I made sure I was the first to sign.”

Darcy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. 

He joined the army for her. James Buchanan Barnes of the Howling Commandos went to war for _her_.

Everything that happened after that- _it was all because of her._

“Why?” Darcy asked, voice breaking.

“I wanted to meet you,” he said, smiling sadly. “You’re soulmate, I would’ve done anything for you. Stevie used to give me all kinds of grief about it, kept calling me a sap, but I didn’t care.”

Darcy couldn’t speak. She didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry,” she managed to choke out. _For the war. For making you join the army. For putting you through hell._

She couldn’t say the last parts out loud, but he seemed to understand.

He smiled at her. It didn’t reach his eyes, and there was more sadness than anything. But in that one, small, barely there smile- Darcy could’ve sworn she was looking at the Bucky Barnes from the 1940’s, the one in all of her dad’s stories.

“The War was rough, not at all what I was expecting, but I was stupid back then, didn’t have a clue what I was getting myself into. Just knew I had a girl waiting for me at the end of it all, so I kept on fighting.”

“Bucky,” Darcy breathed, her heart breaking. 

Her chest was tight with emotions, both hers and his. _Pain, suffering, sadness, grief._ She felt them all like punches to her chest. 

Bucky just sat there, looking down at his metal hand. He kept clenching and unclenching his fist, but she could tell he wasn’t really seeing it.

She reached out on instinct, grabbing the metal hand and holding it tight in hers. Not letting go. 

Bucky looked at her.

“The boys used to say I was lucky,” he whispered, unlocking his fist so he could hold her hand. “Cause your words meant I would make it out of the war alive.”

Darcy’s heart sunk even further. The fragile strand of their bond was flooded with pain.

“At first, I thought they were right,” Bucky said. Then the thing in Darcy’s chest turned ice cold. “But then HYDRA found me, and I thought that was the end.”

Darcy blew out a breath, trying to blink away the sudden tears in her eyes. She squeezed his hand, feeling all of his agony and terror through the bond. Even that small, small fraction of his pain was enough to bring her to tears. She could only imagine how overwhelming it must be for him.

“I fought them so hard, doll,” Bucky whispered, looking so deep into her eyes she thought he could see her soul. “I fought so hard to get back to you, and they knew it. I told them their experiments would never work, because I was getting out of there. You were gonna save me.”

The tears spilled freely down her cheeks now. Darcy could do nothing to stop them. She just let them run down her face, each felt heavier and more painful than the last.

“I lasted months, a year at best, longer than anyone else ever had. HYDRA knew they couldn’t control me while I had you,” he swallowed, clenching his jaw. “So one day, Zola comes into my cell, and he tells me he’s found you. They pumped me so full of drugs I couldn’t walk or barely see. Then they dragged me into the lab and strapped me into the chair.”

Darcy closed her eyes, turning her face to the ground. She couldn’t bear to look at him while he told her the next part.

“They brought in some poor girl and chained her up in front of me. I didn’t even know her name. I was too drugged up to understand what was happening. But they told me she was you. They said they’d found my soulmate, and somehow i’d said her words and they changed colours-”

Bucky’s voice cracked at the end, raw with emotion. It was enough to make Darcy sob. She clutched his hand as tight as she could, using her other hand to muffle her cries. 

His eyes were so far away, like he was no longer with her, but reliving his memories as if they were right infront of him.

“They shot her in front of me,” he whispered.

Darcy shook, her body overcome by the combination of his grief and pain pouring through the bond. She clutched her chest, feeling like she couldn’t breathe.

“She was gone,” Bucky said. “I thought HYDRA had killed my soulmate. And after that I never resisted. Why should I? You were gone. The one proof I had that I’d one day be free, and they killed you.”

“Bucky,” Darcy sobbed, “I’m so sorry-”

 _“I thought you were dead,”_ he whispered. “All the things I did, the killings, the beatings, none of it mattered, because i’d lost you.” 

He dropped his head in his hands. Darcy did the only thing she could think of. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and squeezed, trying to hold him together.

“I became a monster,” Bucky finished. “I don’t deserve you.”

Darcy shook her head, tried to use her sleeve to wipe away the still falling tears.

“That’s not true,” she said. “It’s not. It’s complete and utter bullshit.”

“Didn’t you read my file? You know what I’ve done. What I’m capable of. I’m a monster, and you deserve better than that. You deserve better than being stuck with me.”

“Stop it,” Darcy said firmly. “That’s enough.”

He looked at her, all of those broken emotions clear on his face. 

“I can’t do this, Darcy. I won’t do this to you.”

It was the first time he said her name, and he was trying to stay goodbye. 

Bucky stood, Darcy’s arms dropped from his shoulders and hung limply at her sides. 

He turned away, running a hand through his tangled hair. Darcy clenched her jaw. She wouldn’t let him do this. Not without giving them a chance. Not when his reason for leaving was because he thought she deserved better.

“Sit down,” Darcy ordered. She hated herself for using that tone with him, but it was the only way she could think of to get through to him.

Bucky turned around. His eyes locked with hers.

She pointed at the bench. “Sit. Down.”

He took a deep breath, but did as she asked.

“You don’t get to tell me what I do and don’t deserve-”

“-You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into-”

“ _I’m not some innocent little girl, Bucky_. You don’t have to protect me from yourself. I know how to make my own decisions,” Darcy inhaled. “I know your past was hard, okay, I can _feel_ your pain. But that doesn’t scare me. I know you still have a lot to work on, and your still getting better, but you don’t have to do this alone. The Universe put us together for a reason, okay? I’m your fucking soulmate, if anyone understands what you’re going through right now, it’s me.”

She saw Bucky deflate, curling in on himself like he was trying to hide. A better person might try to stop and apologise. But Darcy wasn’t a better person. She was just Darcy, and she was his soulmate, and she’d make him _listen._

“You deserve everything, Bucky,” she breathed. “Everything- whatever you want. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s the truth. In fact, I will personally hurt anyone who says otherwise. The things in your past, they weren’t you, okay? It’s not your fault- none of this is your fault. You shouldn’t punish yourself now because of things you couldn’t control then.”

He shook his head, unable to meet her gaze.

“What if I hurt you?”

“We’ll figure it out,” she said. “I won’t lie and tell you things are going to be perfect, because they aren’t. But we can atleast try.”

He didn’t answer. Darcy tried again.

“Would you ever hurt me on purpose?”

“God no,” he swore, blue eyes meeting hers. She saw the sincerity in them.

“Good. I believe you.”

“That isn’t enough.”

“It is for me,” she said. “You said it yourself- you would have done anything for me, right? Well, now’s my chance to return the favour.”

Those sad blue eyes studied hers. Darcy could feel the turmoil of his emotions surging through their bond. She could feel his confliction, his hope, his fear, his anger. All of it.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

He sighed.

“I’m thinking I spent all my life waiting to meet you, and you’re still better than anything I ever imagined.”

Darcy blew out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Before today, Darcy had dreaded meeting her soulmate. With words like hers, she knew it was going to be a bad experience.

After meeting Bucky the first time, her worst fears were confirmed. Her own soulmate had run away from her.

But now, after talking to him, Darcy realised with a jolt that she wanted nothing more than to make this work. With him. Together.

Bucky had clearly been through so much, more than Darcy could ever imagine. But he still cared so deeply. He was willing to walk away from his own soulmate because he thought she deserved better.

He was a good man, he just needed someone to help him. Darcy wanted to be that someone.

Regardless of what gods or fates or science she believed in, the world had put Darcy with Bucky for a reason. His handwriting had been printed on her skin from the moment she was born. She wasn't going to let him go now.

“The feelings mutual, Barnes.”

He huffed. 

“What are you thinking, doll?”

“I’m thinking you spent a long, long time waiting for your soulmate, Soldier. You shouldn’t have to wait any longer.”

“I still don’t deserve you,” he whispered. Those full, dark lips captured all her attention. “I’m dangerous. You could get hurt.”

“I’ll handle it,” Darcy promised. “This isn’t my first fight, you know. I was battling space robots and dark elves long before you came along.”

For the first time since she’d met him, Darcy heard Bucky _laugh._

His eyes crinkled at the edges, she could see the fondness in them. His full lips tilted up in a grin.

The sight alone was enough to knock Darcy off her feet. She was glad she was sitting down.

“What i’m trying to say is,” Darcy began, feeling confident, “I understand you have issues. I’ve got them too. But instead of pushing eachother away and trying to deal with these things on our own- why don’t we give this thing a chance, hmm? We deserve a little bit of happiness, don’t we?”

His mouth tightened, eyebrows furrowed, but Darcy could feel his resolve slipping. 

The bond between them grew.

She felt Bucky’s hesitant little hope take root, anchoring itself around her heart. She took a deep breath, shifting down the bench until she was right beside him.

“You are _mine_ , Bucky Barnes. You have my words, I have yours,” Darcy said, placing both hands on his broad shoulders. Her eyes locked on his. “Whatever it takes, we can make this work.”

“You really want me?”

“You’re my soulmate, aren’t you? There’s no one else i’d rather have.”

Bucky’s face went soft, she felt the tension finally leave his shoulders. The bond between them flared in response to her words, fizzing and crackling, waiting to explode. 

“You’re sure about this?” he asked. 

The bond surged brighter. Her skin prickled and the hair on her arms stood up. The air around them felt charged, like the beginnings of a lightning strike.

“Positive,” she said, sending all her confidence and hope and adoration down the bond. Felt Bucky’s timid acceptance bounce back.

The bond hummed, strengthening between them. She felt it grow and expand, wrapping strong tendrils around her heart, spreading out from her chest until her whole body felt alight with electricity.

“I’ve already accepted you in my head, you just have to say the words,” she said, smiling softly at him.

She felt the last of Bucky’s reserves shatter.

He surged forward, pulling her into his strong chest. 

Darcy felt the wind get knocked out of her, but she didn’t care. She wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face in his chest.

The bond between them bloomed. Solidified into something strong, one end attached to her heart, the other attached to his. It felt secure and heavy, no longer a tiny strand, but thick like iron chains.

A weight Darcy didn’t know she had been carrying was suddenly lifted from her shoulders. For the first time in her whole life, she felt like she could finally breathe. 

“Then I claim you, Darcy…” Bucky paused, his face pressed into the top of her head.

She laughed against his chest. Blinked against the sudden overwhelming desire to cry. “Lewis, Darcy Lewis,” she sniffed.

“Darcy Lewis. Wow, we really did this backwards, huh? If my Ma could see us right now, she’d be cursing up a storm.”

Darcy laughed, wet hot tears falling down her cheeks. “It’s okay, I like it better this way.”

She felt Bucky’s amusement through their still growing bond, smiled so wide it made her cheeks hurt. He let go of her, holding her at arms distance so he could see her face again.

Bucky lifted a hand, ever so gently, and wiped away her tears. His eyes were soft, fond. The usual tough exterior melted away. She felt like she was really seeing him for the first time.

Bucky smiled, the corner of his mouth lifting up ever so slightly. Her breath hitched. _He was beautiful._

“I claim you, Darcy Lewis, as my soulmate, and I accept our bond.”

All the air left Darcy’s lungs in a whoosh. She wasn’t sure she’d ever hear those words.

He said them so formally, perfectly, like people used to back in the day. 

“And I claim you, Bucky Barnes. I accept this bond.”

The bond between them exploded. She felt it rattle through her chest, take root in her very bones. Suddenly she didn’t know where her consciousness ended and his began, all she could feel was Bucky. 

His thoughts, feelings, desires, she felt them as strongly as her own. Everything he felt was being projected down their bond and into her very soul.

Darcy gasped against the onslaught of emotions, the bond between them lit up like a lightning strike. 

“I can feel you,” she breathed, eyes locked on his. She saw all her feelings echoed on his face. 

He placed his hands on either side of her face, letting their claim run its course. “You’re so bright,” he whispered, eyes full of wonder- wonder for her.

They sat there for a moment, just holding each other. Feeling the waves of emotion pass through the bond.

Slowly, she noticed the brightness of the moment finally dim. The sizzling electricity in her veins settled into a comforting hum. The bond between them was heavy and solid, like chains of gold steel, but she was no longer overwhelmed by his emotions.

Instead his presence became a comforting weight through the bond. She could still feel him, but her thoughts were her own once more. Darcy felt him relax.

“Are you okay?” she asked, checking the bond for any signs of his distress. All she found was warmth.

“Doll,” he breathed, closing his eyes. “I haven’t felt this good in a long, long time.”

She grinned at him, knowing it was true because she could feel it. “Me too,” she promised.

Darcy took a deep breath. She knew her and Bucky had a lot to work on after this. Besides his file, she hardly knew him. Didn’t know his favourite colour, or his favourite foods, or what kind of music he listened to.

She wasn’t stupid. She knew this thing between them was going to take work. But being with him felt _right._

Bucky was hers, her soulmate, and she vowed to do everything in her power to do right by him. He wouldn’t go another day thinking HYDRA had killed his soulmate, or that he didn’t deserve one. She would make damn sure of it.

“What are you thinking?” he asked her. “You went...dark.”

“Nothing,” she smiled at him, looking back out at the view. 

The sun had dipped further over the horizon. She imagined she could see stars in the sky. 

When she turned back to look at him, he was already watching her.

“What?” Darcy blushed. Bucky shook his head.

“It was worth it.”

“What was?”

“You. This. It was worth the waiting- all of it.”

Darcy’s breath hitched. “Really?”

He just looked at her. Blue eyes searching her face.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “It was worth it.”

~~~~


End file.
